I like it? I love it? Ummmm, no thanks...

Hello my darlings,

This one will be short and sweet.  First off, I have to say that my new dating profile clearly works!   As a result of last weeks post I had a couple of people express their love for me and at least one told me that she would totally swipe right on me.  I mean, I was thinking that attracting a man was my goal, but hey it's good to feel loved.   As for actually posting it on a dating site.. yeah, that's not likely to happen, but I assure you I will definitely let you know, if in a drunken stupor, I change my mind about that.  

Today I had a very coffee-worthy moment that I had to share.  I had a follow-up appointment from my physical in late May and was scheduled for a blood draw.  I was a little nervous about the blood-draw because even though I hadn't had anything other than water for 15 hours, yesterday was my friend Chris' birthday, (Happy B-day Montague!) so we had to celebrate, with cocktails! (I heart Rose!)  I disclosed my vino consumption to my fabulous new doctor and she said that wasn't a concern.  Anyway, everything is fine, no physical issues.  (Feel free to read between the lines about my broken brain all you want.)  I'll get the full lab results in a few days, but I'm not worried.   EXCEPT, I still have not had a mammogram!  I know I'm 45 and I should have done this 5+ years ago, but, um, yeah, well, I didn't.  Today, my doctor, once again, lectured me that I NEED to get that done and informed me that they have a walk-in mammogram facility on the first floor.  I whined that I was starving because it had been 15+hours since I'd eaten, so she said I could skip it today, but that I need to get in soon to get it done.  FINE, I'll do it!  Probably.... 

On the way back to my car, I walk past a reception table with a very young, cute little college girl (read intern) informing female passersby about the walk-in mammogram facility.  Perkalicious asked me if I'd "like to have a mammogram."  With a complete deadpan look I replied "No!  I'd like to have a cheeseburger, but I definitely would not like to have a mammogram."   The poor little thing looked crushed.  I actually felt bad(ish), but I was really hungry and not in the mood to explain sarcasm to a child, especially one that won't be subjected to the mammogram conversation for 20 more years, so I said I'll schedule an appoint soon as I walked out.  

This is one of those times where I really hope they send me a survey, because I LOVE this doctor (Thanks Jeni Finnigan!) and the entire staff was fantastic, but perhaps they could coach the bubbly little mammogram pusher to use language other than "would you like to" cause I guaran-damn-tee NO ONE would LIKE to have a mammogram.  

Fingers crossed that my blood-type doesn't come back as O-Positive-Rose....  

Until next time...

XOXO

PS - I hope you're on the edge of your seat in anticipation of that post-mammogram coffee, cause, that's probably a thing.  

PPS - I am also absolutely, positively NOT pregnant.  I tried to assure them that there's a whole thing about having someone else in the room that is usually required to make that happen, but they require a test.  It was negative!  Imagine my surprise... (in case you didn't know that was sarcasm)