So this is 50.....

Hello my lovelies,

It’s been ages since I sat down and did this. I apologize for the delay, I don’t really have any excuse other than work and life and books and Netflix and puzzles and damn you Amazon.com have been consuming too much of my time and my brain, and since I threw Amazon on this list, my money. I would resolve to change that, but since 83% of resolutions fail that’s probably a really terrible idea, but I do intend to do more of this. After all, I can’t write that book if I don’t sit my butt down and write and I AM GOING TO WRITE A BOOK!!!!!!

Since it’s been awhile, I thought you’d probably all be giddy to get an update on me and my fabulous (read boring) life. To start with, 2023 is the year I turn 50. FIFTY! The big five zero. Ask any 12-year old how old 50 is and there will probably be a dinosaur comparison. Fortunately, in my case a dinosaur comparison might just be warranted at this point.

I’ve suddenly become one of those achy old people that grunts and groans when I stand up, and while I haven’t yet moved to crotchety old “You kids get off my lawn” status, a few weeks ago I did seriously consider flying out my front door and feeding an adult man the cigarette butts that he drops in my yard every time he walks by my house with this dog. Additionally, I seems to have developed a clumsy streak starting with a bicycle versus fence accident last fall, followed by an ice incident last week that very likely will result in some quality PT time to regain full use of my shoulder. FWIW the bike accident was definitely the fences fault, though it may have also involved the consumption of a few too many delicious Oktoberfest beers at a local brewery. Scratch that whole beers confessions, I am definitely sticking with the jumping fence defense. UGH, I am feeling every one of the 18,148 days I’ve been alive.

Today was a very exciting day in the life O-Ronda — I got to poop in a hat! I bet not many of you can say that. Long story short, earlier today I had my second endoscopy procedure in two months to address (hopefully) some digestive issues that I’ve been dealing with for quite a while. Now the doctor wants to restart me on some medications, but he needs confirmation that the bacterial infection discovered in my first endoscope was resolved. The options are to wait four more weeks to start the new meds or test a fecal sample immediately. Since you all know how patient I am, I don’t want to wait for anything, so I went to the lab picked up the kit, pooped in what looked like a plastic hat, essentially used chopsticks to transfer the sample to the collection cup and deliver it to the lab for processing. Oh, any I got the whole thing done and in the garbage before the trash pickup today. WINNING! My “responsible adult” Joie, who’s been schlepping me around for all of this, was just impressed at my ability to poop on demand. Skilllzzzzz people! I gots skills! I wonder how I can work that in as a transferrable skill on my LinkedIn Profile. Kidding! Seriously, that’s a little lowbrow even for me.

I know that it’s officially too late to say Happy New Year, but I sincerely hope this finds all of you well. I won’t guarantee how frequently, but there will definitely be more of these to come this year.

Until next time…

XOXO

R