Double the fun...
Hello my darlings,
I spent the last week in Atlanta attending new employee onboarding meetings. It was the best business trip I've ever been on and it absolutely reinforces that I am in the right place. I LOVE my job! I'm so fortunate to work for a fantastic company and be surrounded by awesome people. In fact, this company is so fantastic that they employee two of me!
I know the mere thought that there could be another one of me on this planet is a bit panic inducing, but I swear it's true-ish. Technically, since my doppelganger was there first I guess maybe I am the duplicate of her rather than her being my twin, but meh, semantics.
My twin's name is Beth Smith. Beth is a member of the Porsche club. The company leases a Porsche for any sales rep that generates $1.2M of revenue. It pretty much it goes without saying that this woman is a baller, but Beth doesn't drive a Porsche, she drives a brand new Ford truck. When presented the option to choose a Porsche her response was that she doesn't NEED a Porsche because she knows her dick is HUGE, so she doesn't have to compensate. I love her! (Full disclosure -- this highlights one obvious difference, I wouldn't have picked a truck, but I certainly appreciate the sentiment about the Porsche.) Furthermore, Beth gestures wildly when she talks, swears more than necessary, has a booming laugh that can be heard throughout the building and is heartily recognized as the person to go to if you need to get shit done! Oh, yeah and the physical resemblance between us is uncanny. Numerous times throughout the week people stopped me in the hall or did a double take because they thought I was Beth. It makes my heart swell with pride that my look-a-like is a ballsy bitch!
I have lots more stories to regale you with about a few crazy coworkers, the trials and tribulations of traveling to Atlanta for the aforementioned business trip (FWIW Senor Reese, our new VP of sales will NEVER live down the fact that he nearly chose a mini-van for our rental car. "Where dignity goes to die" was the slogan I coined (and frequently repeated) for the mini-van(s) that he nearly selected) and of course a whole lot more light rail fun, but sadly I have to head out soon to get my taxes finished. Yes, I realize I am really late getting this done, but taxes were a thing that Ray always did. I frankly didn't pay attention, I just sorted the tax forms that arrived into his and mine, gave them to Ray and he took it from there. Fortunately, the CPA I hired last year to file Ray's tax return and the estate stuff had an opening. Next year I intend to be a functioning grown-up and actually file taxes in a timely manner, but this year I am happily falling on the mercy of a CPA to do it for me.
I know that I've whined about this many times before, but I sort of hate money. I mean, I like having money, I love making money and I'm certainly adept at spending money, but I really despise thinking about and managing money. I don't need a man and I certainly don't need a relationship, but I kind of do need, OK, so maybe I don't NEED, but I would really appreciate having someone to just give me an allowance while taking care of all of the grown-up money shit (i.e. taxes, insurance, retirement etc.) for me. Seriously, I'm sitting here looking at a stack of THREE HSA cards, I just need to consolidate them all into one card with a single balance, but it's been more than a year and I haven't gotten that done. I haven't even signed up for the 401K at my fabulous new job yet because I frankly suck at adulting!
Today, I conquer taxes... and wine. It's safe to assume that there will be a post-tax appointment with a glass (read bottle) of wine.
Until next time....
XOXO
PS - If anyone wants to place bets on me actually completing my taxes in a timely manner next year it's probably safe to assume that won't happen and you'll all be tormented with my whining about it next April 14. #Adultingsucks
PPS - I will get the 401K done...eventually, but the HSA cards, meh, jury is still out on that.