Effing Flamingos
Vegas jails are the BOMB! I had no clue how posh life in the big house could be.
Ok, so I didn't actually see the inside or even the outside of a Vegas jail. We had a great time, but crappy navigation skills coupled with the maddening maze that is EVERY Vegas casino mixed with a few cocktails, meant we spent a significant amount of time in, on or around the Flamingo. That would have been great if we were staying at the f*ing Flamingo, but we weren't. We weren't staying anywhere near the Flamingo. We were staying at a Marriott off the strip, past Planet Hollywood.
Our first Flamingo adventure was in search of a bar. Shocking isn't it! Joie couldn't remember the name of the bar, but thought she knew how to get there. Our first pass took us past the Flamingo, into the Venetian and through the Palazzo only to realize that the bar she wanted was, yep, you guessed it behind the Flamingo. Once we found the bar and ate some dinner we decided to take the Monorail back to our hotel. We got on the Monorail at the Flamingo and rode to the end of the line, the MGM, but then in our state of slight inebriation and extreme exhaustion we decided that we'd gone to far, so we got on the northbound line and rode back to the Paris/Bally's stop. There we took a wrong turn in the Casino and once again found ourselves at the Flamingo. We gave up and walked back from there. The next day we realized that the MGM stop was only four blocks from our hotel. Damn you cute little pink Flamingos!!!
Since we were celebrating Joie's son's birthday we agreed to go see the show he wanted to see. He's a boy, so he opted for Chris Angel Mindfreak, at 9:30pm. It's important to note that we had an 8am flight, so we were all up early, me because I don't sleep well in general and the rest of the gang because they drove to the airport from Fort Collins. I'm not going to go into details other than to encourage all of you to SKIP any and every Chris Angel show you might stumble across. It was overly theatrical and included a significant number of of scantily clad, gyrating women for no apparent reason other than to distract from the idiocy happening on stage. At one point in the show Joie actually woke me up because she was afraid he'd involve us in his shenanigans if he saw me sleeping. It sucked! I hated it! I was lobbying for Puppetry of the Penis, because that shit sounds sophomoric and hilarious. I lost!
The next day Joie and I left the 21-years olds to lounge by the pool while we walked. We took the Monorail, from the newly discovered, incredibly close, MGM stop to the Stratosphere then we walked to Fremont St. That was an interesting (read terrifying) walk. We saw bums and hookers and strip clubs and bums and homeless people, and.... I think you get the point. During this adventure we also saw about 300 wedding chapels, each with a pink Cadillac and a few with actual people at them. Surprisingly, Joie and I both resisted the urge to drag the women away by their hair screaming "Don't do it - you're going to regret it!" Our arrival at Fremont St. was pretty innocuous. We just walked around until we found a brewery to our liking, aka OPEN! We both set the bar pretty high on that one. That night we enjoyed an incredible meal at Carnevino. On Monday we went to the outlet malls, the kids shopped, Joie and I walked. That night the kids went out partying, they got back to the hotel sometime around 5:00am. While they were visiting strip clubs and gambling Joie and I spent the evening enjoying a drink at the rooftop bar and were in bed at 9PM. The flight back was uneventful. I was worried about Joie sitting with the kids that were still somewhat drunk, but fading quickly into painfully hungover, but no one lost their breakfast and everyone arrived home safe and sound.
Overall it was a lot of fun. People watching in Vegas is truly extraordinary and the fashion decisions in Vegas are a sight to be seen, actually many of the fashion decisions in Vegas make you wish you could unsee! After this trip I won't say that I HATE Vegas, but I still don't like it. I'm planning to make this my last trip to Vegas for a very long time.
Until next time...
XOXO