It's not easy being dead?
Hello my darlings,
It's been a little while since I ranted to you about death and dying, but now that the house is sold and I'm settled in my new apartment I am once again dealing with the estate paperwork to get all of the accounts settled and monies transferred. Rather than being a big girl and dealing with this stuff on my own I decided I drag you all into the nonsense of being dead.
It shouldn't be a surprise to anyone that this story begins with Verizon. You've all heard the tales of death certificates that were required, then weren't required and account transfers that were done, but weren't done correctly and of course, the woes of the old people phone and Captain Chaos. Finally, I think the account is in my name and setup correctly, I think, because I cannot actually login to verify that. The account is correct, but the myverizon.com site is still registered to Ray. WTF! Apparently, since they transferred the phone account to me there is something else that has to be done in the online portal, but since I don't know Ray's login no one at Verizon can figure out how to change that. Furthermore, these asshats have it on record that Ray is deceased, but still for some reason the credit refund check for his phone that I returned once I finally had the death certificate, that I didn't actually need, was sent to Ray Constable, not the Estate of Ray Constable. Nope they don't issue it to the Estate which I now own, they issue a check to the dead guy. GAH! Now, please understand we are not talking about a lot of money here, but when I called to inquire about having the $62 check reissued I was informed that it would cost me $20 for them to reissue the check. Oh no they din't! It's probably not too difficult to imagine the animated conversation that I had about me paying Verizon to reissue a check that they did wrong, because, as I not so kindly informed the hapless moron on the phone, "dead guys can't actually write their names to endorse a check!" She informed me that the policy says.... SIDEBAR: I just interviewed for a role at an oil and gas company to help create and manage ITSM processes. I like process, I get the value in process, but are you f*ing kidding me your people are so stupid that they can't acknowledge that issuing a check to a dead guy is actually kind of a colossal f*up and that under no circumstance should the caller be informed that she will have to pay to have Verizon fix the mistake! In the end the whole thing silly and frustrating and ridiculous, but luckily I was able to take the $62 check into First Tech Credit Union, explain the story and they turned a blind eye and allowed me to deposit that whole sixty-two dollars into the estate account. I've decided that attempting to deal with Verizon over the phone is too painful an experience, so I am going to go into a Verizon store later today to see if maybe, by some miracle, I can find someone with half-a-brain to help me get the account fully transferred from my dead husband's name into mine. If not, I'm sure I'll be ranting again soon when my phone gets disconnected because I can't pay the bill. I have money to pay the bill, I've attempted to pay the bill, but because Verizon can't figure out how to terminate Ray's old online account, so I can create a new online account, I can't actually pay the bill! I HATE VERIZON!
I think I whined in a recent coffee that our marital status is being challenged by Fidelity. This challenge means they are not giving me his 401K, even though I am listed as the sole beneficiary, and they are not paying out his pension. I think you all know this story, but Ray was the world's most committed committiphobe. We were together for 18-years. I referred to him as my husband, among other things; he referred to me as his wife, also among other things, but we were never actually married. All of the paperwork that he completed says married, the death certificate says married, the account transfer paperwork that I completed says Common Law, because I don't have a marriage license to prove married. When I got the call about this "discrepancy" I immediately pulled up the Colorado Common Law statute to assure her that Common Law is an officially recognized marital status in Colorado and that we did meet the criteria. Fidelity cannot accept emails, so I gathered the documentation (9-pages) to support the statute, walked to a nearby FedEx Kinkos location and had the paperwork faxed to Fidelity. The account manager said that Cigna was raising the same concern, but that she could pass along the supporting documentation to them. Within a week, I had confirmation from Cigna that my claim was approved and the life insurance payout was complete. (FWIW I have the account details to confirm the Cigna life insurance payout is actually done) YAY! I also received a call about Ray's HSA and brokerage accounts, also with Fidelity, those are approved and are being transferred to me, but the 401K and pension are still in limbo while they work to internally resolve the marital status dispute. F*mylife!
I know this could all be so much worse. I know it's only been four months and these things take time. I also know that there are a number of grieving widows that are barely even able to function at this point in time, so I really should quit whining about my ridiculous problems and appreciate that Ray left me in a very good position financially even if these payouts never happen, but I won't. This is where that rabid-dog tendency that is so completely unattractive in most situations is going to help me get this resolved. It may also end up with several people in tears, myself included, but I will get this done.
Until next time...
XOXO