When I grow up I want to be a......
Hello my darlings,
I am writing this on the morning of the last official shenanigan that I will host in this house. I have to admit the thought of it is very bittersweet. I love having my house filled with wonderful people, fabulous food and of course a cocktail or seven thrown into the equation can't possibly be a bad thing, (er, well, until the next morning, then it can be a very bad thing, but that's a post for another day, perhaps tomorrow) but the reality of hosting it by myself is very sad. The tag team system that Ray and I had typically included him coming up with menu suggestions (often very complex menu suggestions) and me shopping, chopping and executing it to some degree of success (usually a fairly high-degree of success, but there have been a few misses over the years) and him creating a music playlist, which usually included some rather bizarre musical selections. Since I'm on my own this time the menu is easy -- fajitas - chicken, beef, shrimp and lots of veggies - a variety of fresh (bought, not made) tortillas and the various chips, dips and dessert accompaniments that my guests bring. As for the playlist, I envision people shouting at Alexa all night or suffering with my ultra-chill Lumineers station on Pandora. Oh and BEER! SIDEBAR: I'm going to Longmont today (see desparkle reference below) so I'm going to grab a few of those growlers in my basement and put them to use with a menagerie from a few local breweries. FWIW I'm becoming an IPA drinker (XOXO Finnigan) and Wibby Brewing has a couple of great IPA's so I will definitely have those, but I'll also grab a couple of wheat beers and other lighter options for my non-IPA pals. OK, enough about my sadness and my menu and beer... mmmmm beeeeeer.... surely there is a point to my rant, let's get on with that, shall we.........
I had a friend comment last night on how fast things are moving. He couldn't be more right. I had the appraisal done on my house yesterday and barring any significant issues with that (I don't anticipate any) my house will officially close on March 20. That leaves me about 5-weeks to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life, or at least where I am going to live! YIKES! Five weeks doesn't feel like a lot of time at this point. I've made significant progress in my purging efforts and I've made decent progress in packing and labeling things I want to move with me and stuff that can go into storage for when I decide to buy a place in the future. I very much intend to sell / donate / barter to rid myself of most of the furniture and large items and to live a very minimalist lifestyle in my short-term rental. Well, minimal with a lot of shoes. I can definitely get rid of a lot more clothes, but I have no intention of further purging my shoes! This brings me to the need for a decision on what the hell it is that I intend to do, preferably by March 19, to ensure I don't end up sleeping in the storage unit that I am securing to hold my belongings. Here are the options I've come up with thus far:
- Secure a 6-month rental in Denver, likely RiNo, live in and among a bunch of hipsters and figure out what my new grown-up life looks like six months from now.
- Say screw being a grown-up, put all my crap in storage with the exception of a couple of suitcases of clothes, rent a room from my friend Joie (for the rare times I am in town) and spend 6-month (or more) traveling.
- Stop shaving my legs (HA! I'm getting a head start on that one) grow my hair out and join a religious cult.
- Do something sensible, get a 6-12 month rental somewhere (likely the DTC) with more reasonable rental rates (Downtown Denver ridiculously expensive) get a job and once again act vaguely like a grown-up.
- Find me a sugar-daddy!
- Pack up those camping shovels, grab some of the food storage meals in my basement and go off the grid (also another reason to stop shaving my legs)
OK, let's break each of these truly magnificent ideas down a bit farther, shall we.
Options 1 - Hipsters! I have to admit the RiNo area is really cool, it's urban and active and uber-trendy. It's also a construction zone! They will have sidewalks within the next 1-3 years after they widen the road and build the five new apartment / parking garage complexes that are in the works. Let's focus on urban, active and uber-trendy for moment. Um, I am active, but that's about the only check I have there. I do not have, nor do I want any facial piercing or tattoos. I pretty much hate aviator sunglasses and vow to NEVER own a pair. After surgery on both of my achilles tendons wearing stilettos is not happening, especially in an area with no sidewalks. (Hmm, if I move to RiNo I should probably include my scooty-cart and crutches, pretty sure there are some bitches that will need to rent those from me soon.) The appeal of living with the hipsters is that it is completely different that anything I've ever done and it's the most un-Ray thing I could possibly do! Sadly though, I'm not sure that's the best reason for me to do it.
Option 2 - Travel! I have to admit this is pretty appealing, but it also scares the shit out of me. I've had a job most of the time since I was 15-years old. I've never been in a position where money wasn't a driver of the majority of my decisions. I feel like there some innate thing inside of me that won't actually allow me to be completely frivolous. Furthermore, the whole story of recently widowed and taking six-month to travel and find herself, seems like a pretty cheesy movie plot. Hmmmm, maybe this will be the opportunity to write my version of Eat, Love, Pray. (Full disclosure I HATE that book - it was the most narcissistic, whiny bunch of dross I've ever read. In case you haven't read it (and I hope you haven't) I would summarize it as a whiny, narcissistic, difficult to live with woman gets cheated on (because she's awful to be around) and dumped and is so distraught that she takes a year to travel and find herself. I spent the entire duration of the book mentally shouting "You got dumped bitch, shut up - get over it!" Yes, I do realize I could have stopped reading the book at any time, but I didn't and I HATED that book!) Rest assured my book will have a much more "put-your-big-girl-panties-on-and deal" sort of tone. I really like food, so there will be much eating, but not much praying, oh and a lot more swearing. Yeah, there's probably no need to go stand in line at the bookstore, just yet. I'll keep you posted!
Option 3 - Cult! While I am a girl who appreciates winter as a time to refrain from shaving my legs, I really enjoy showering and I'm not yet secure enough in who I am to forego covering these damn gray hairs that continue to propagate my hairline. Oh and the whole religious part. Yeah, um, so about that..... I think we can safely eliminate #3 from any further consideration.
Option 4 - Sensible! I know this is exactly what I SHOULD do, but I'm not sure if I want to. I will admit that I feel extremely guilty about not working, especially when I'm talking with friends about the chaos in their jobs (but mostly I just hate that they have to work and can't come play with me!) There are days that I am absolutely stir crazy because I don't have anything to focus my energy on (OK, I have packing, but that is just making me sad, so I have to take breaks from that frequently.) Most of all I miss using my brain! I'm probably just a freak, but I like solving problems and I LOVE making decisions. I guess more specifically, I love making decisions at work because clearly I SUCK and making decisions about life!
Option 5 - Sugar daddy! Yeah, lots of problems here too. I am a few million light-years away from being sweet enough or cute enough or demure enough to be a trophy wife (or more accurately any kind of wife) and the whole idea seems like a lot of work. My current routine I can shower, dress, do my hair and makeup and be out the door in 30 minutes. Granted, you've all seen me and there are lots of days I probably should have taken another 10 or 20 or..... Turns out I am LAZY! I go every 6-8 weeks to have my hair desparkled (DAMN you gray hair) and my eyebrows deforested. Furthermore I keep getting my hair cut shorter, so I can just leave it curly and pretend that actually counts as a hairstyle. I think this is probably also a reason that living in and among the hipsters would not be a great fit. Women that take hours doing their hair and try to pull it off as naturally beachy-wavy hair annoy me beyond measure. Take it from this curly girl! Naturally curly hair looks messy. Naturally! Beachy-wavy hair with perfect waves every half inch looks like a LOT of work and time and why bother?
Option 6 - off the grid! HA! I don't consider myself overly girly. I like to be outside, I love to hike, I have no problem getting sweaty and dirty, but I also like showers and beds and delicious meals and wine. Oh yeah and I loves me some internets! Until wifi is "off the grid" I'm staying ON! Looks like those camping shovels are going to find a new family to live with....
So in case you haven't noticed I pretty much have no idea what the hell I am going to do with my life, but I now have a five week clock ticking very louding to make a damn decision already. Inevitably, there will be much more to come in this saga.
Consider this a warning I may be reaching out for a couch to sleep on in the coming weeks.....
Until next time....
XOXO